A Zen feeling

Many a time I have wondered why God does things the way He does. There are some things that I implicitly trust. He is. He knows that I exist. He knows what I do, what I think. He takes care of me. But then there are times when I just think that He has forgotten if I am there.

 It is something that goes beyond the skin. I love Him from somewhere deep and every minute I want Him to make me aware of Him. Just reassure me He is there with me every second of my pains.. It is like a wife wanting her husband to be with her when she is in the obstetrician’s ward trying to breathe new life. But the moment the child is born, the husband becomes secondary though only for a short while.

I want Him with me every second of my life on earth, trying to leave without making much negative impact, help me make some positive impact at least. Almost want to leave unnoticed if I cannot do anything good.

Talking about the way he does things, I was watching Kungfu Panda yesterday. There are definitely some almost Zen moments when you watch oriental movies. I had one yesterday: “There are no accidents”. Have heard infinite variations of the words..--- There are no coincidences, everything is planned … yadda yadda yadda.

But then I did not have the moment even when I was seeing the movie. It was the day after when Ethnic-atom commented at a statement of mine.

Another time I had a Zen feeling was when I was driving behind this car. We were passing through a crossing and a turn and the driver in front threw a paper crumpled out of the window. As I watched its trajectory towards the pavement and it fluttering, a paper’s existence unfolded across my life. In that second, I was able to visualize its birth from a tree it did not even know existed and its journey to where it was today and what it was doing where it was. Hit me with the force of a sandbag. Arrived exactly at the moment to a place where someone was looking for it.

There are really no ways of explaining Zen feelings. It is almost like Déjà vu. And the only thing that mattered most was that there was a destiny to that piece of paper. Tomorrow it might save the earth and I had seen it.

(Took me to thinking about all the flotsam, jetsam, airsam, samsam floating across the Indian roads and rail roads. – formed with the one purpose of trashing the nation.)

Believe me. There is a reason. For everything to be exactly the way it is. And it is for the best of everybody.

Live and learn as the Gaffer used to say.. Tolkienwise.