Wrapped up!

Sometimes we are focussed just on one subject that we fail to note that things have flown by. Sometimes literally life has flown by. My last post was something to that effect. I was so focussed on the fact that I was hurt deeply by one person and actually blocked everything else from my mind. But that is so unfair. To all the others who have been thinking about me, being with me, making my life a blessing and giving it a meaning.

Mostly of all M. Who has been so patient with me and my paranoias, we have had a lot of fun. In London. London has been great so far. I have had 8 whole months of my life in Europe. Been to Germany. Turkey. Actually I have sooooo many things to blog about that now they are rushing in a tumble on me. :)) Getting a license in England (whew!!), finding a new home, sharing things. Finally someone always to come home to (right now : be at home to)- It has been wonderful Thanks to Emperuman.

Glorious friends. Prashanth who came to visit me this month and we had a great fun : M, Prash and me :)) It was wonderful. Roaming all about London like teenagers, laughing and rolling with laughter most of the time. We have hopefully persuaded him to get married and hopefully he will soon..

Right now I am searching for a job. Trying to do something totally different and new. Hopefully. Hope is such a positive thing. :))

Most of all. It is a reminder to myself that I am the only one suffering with long lost memories which are useless. As the people who the memories are about. Our memories are the only things that torment us. destroy our lives when the very life is blowing by.

:)) Thanks to all those who make our lifes happy, fill them with cheer and moments worth remembering as memories. To all others, give them selective amnesia. :)

The walking dead

Strange way to start writing again. I have been in India again and yet again after my last post but there is still something inside me that refuses to open up to blog. Feeling terrible about it. Ideas fleet about. Things that I love, things that are new to me, people around me, the very life around me has changed so dramatically in the past 7 months that one might guess I would have had tons to write about. Sadly no.

Even now it is actually deep sadness that makes me write this. Rather than happiness. We watch movies of zombies and ghosts and the undead. But I think that there is something dead within each of us that never is laid to rest even when we sleep. Even as we live. Every single day - waking up with the sun and fading away with the night. I think I will call it the walking dead.

Today mine came to haunt me. Actually only one of them did. There are so many dead pasts within me that I feel I am shuttering more things that I open these days. It is like a previous birth - a dream which you see when you are awake. It flashes before your eyes and you are left clinging to the table for support. Tears well up and engulf my living self before I can ford them.

Sometimes another living self that is a part of the dead me comes alive before me. Haunting. Well. Blabber of the day.

Welcome to the world of the dead.

Footloose

Being footloose is very dangerous. And given to indulge, it is very difficult to reform. I used to be that way in the States. Travelling was the rule than a vacation. Every weekend was an excuse to be excused from Lakewood. Pittsburgh, NJ, NYC, Niagara, Boston, Virginia, Washington, Columbus, Lexington, Austin, the list never seemed to end. Wanted to visit Yellowstone, Vegas, Lake Placid,Adirondacks, the list never seemed to end. These are mostly the times when I miss America and my single time the most.

The need to travel. To see. To see new things, new cities, new places. I think the last one year has been the one wherein I have seen just one place new in spite of living in Europe in London. I hope the traveller is not dead. Oh!!!My feet want to fly.

I am going to India in September. Maybe I will get to see something. Planning a trip of Kumbakonam again. Want to see Sarangapani (Sarngapani) again.

Oh!My feet want to fly...