Today is the day. I have decided to snap out of my apathy that has hung around me like a funeral shroud the past few days.
I was systematically killing my time and days with no hopes about a bright future, a job or a happy life. I was mechanically forcing myself to feel better being the underdog. Forcing myself to wallow in self pity and take pleasure in the pain it produced.
I was turning into a masochist.
I am stopping it right here. Right now. I know what has been pulling me down. I know how to handle it. My defense is in a few days and then I shall be Gayathri,BE,MS Mechanical engineering.
My future lies open in my hands. Not in any others. Defeats, victories, happiness and joy alternate in this never ending cycle of life.
I am not falling prey to the ennui that Arjuna was quelled of by my Lord, Sarathy.
With these inpiring words, I begin. Yet another journey!
hato va prapsyasi svargam
jitva va bhoksyase mahim
tasmad uttistha kaunteya
yuddhaya krta-niscayah
Etiher you shall be killed in the battlefield and attain Heavenly Planets or you shall win the war and rule the earth. Therefore O son of Kunti, arise and fight with determination, the hour of reckoning is near!!!
Monday, October 29, 2007
Wednesday, October 17, 2007
Thiruvallikeni Ninaivugal 100223123001230
I might have bored to death some of friends talking about Thiruvallikeni. But I dont really care. If I am like this, it is because of Thiruvallikeni and not any other place. So yet another blog about the place I could write 1000000.. posts about. Where time really seems to stop or just flow, uninteruppted without change.
I really don't know whether time stops or it flows unchanged without any outer influence. Anyway. Both mean the same here. Utsavams, utsavams and more utsavams. In everyday life. In everybody's life. It is a kind of a monarchy. A clan of people fiercely clinging to their shrinking boundaries, afraid of losing their identites and clinging yet more fiercely to it. It is the same with NRIs. It is the same with any sect/clan/tribe of people anywhere on earth.
Thiruvallikeni. Peyar kaaranam : Aazhwar mangalaasasanam. "Madamaa myilai Thiru Allikk keni kandene!" Thirumangai mannan in awe of Shri Parthasarathy swami.
Of my fondest rememberances, long and ardent pradakshanams in the temple. Without thinking about the time, the long hours spent in the temple Agraharathil kazhudaigalaga(Jon Abraham- rest long his departed soul) valam vantha ninavugal.
One thing I guess I was blessed with was by the beach. Wind blowing, sand slightly sifting under expectant feet, running towards the warm warm water(unlike the horrible 45 F water here in the states), salt spraying with the wind and water. Ships in anchor in the Madras harbour, imagined to be much much bigger than actual. Quiet confidences exchanged with the universe(Na unna pathukaren, neeyum enna pathukanum), the sea arousing untamed thoughts of adventure, treasures and foreign lands. Chin cupped in the bend on the knees.Hands clasping legs tightly around the chest. As though to prevent the legs running away with the heart. Eyes staring far ahead as if to penetrate time and space. Thoughts running wild.
Or.
Quiet meditation. Eyes closed and in sync with the wind blowing. After sometime, almost as an reflex, ears tune only to the wind. Sound of automobiles and humans are completely blanked out. Peace. Peace. Shanti. "Akka, akka..seruppu.. thanni adichundu porathu!!" AHA!!!!!!!!! a rogue wave.
At moments a few thoughts about the societal differences :prompted by the bleak appearance of the sundal boy or man. A piercing sorrow in the heart which reminds that I, with all my comfort, am whiling time away at the beach. While this poor guy has to roam all over it for a few rupees. In a strange way, even Heaven without freedom is prison. So true. Relative happiness.
A very important aspect of the beach is the "kuri solra ladies". They will have this 'kol' and come and sing in riddles, capture your attention with their cahrming,beautifully accented, authentic, rural tamil and there you will go.. A fresh set of dreams 40 Rs minus.
Invariably in all their predictions will be a member of the opposite sex waiting to profess undying love to you. Also would be included vague pointers to joyous future, good job. They are very good sales people. They sell happiness for a few rupees.
One of my erst while friends always used to remark that when he felt very low, he would go to a soothsayer and pay him 40Rs to feel good. It would (he claimed) would always increase his positive output. It is quite true.
Hmmm. Is it true that even thinking about good times can place a sigh on your lips and a tug on your heart? Hmm.
I guess so. All the crap about enjoying life and remembering it in tough times. No man. It does not brighten your mood. About the change to a positive nature, I am not pretty sure about. But I always think it leaves you sadder and more thoughtful. As though thinking about a past dream you can never get back too. In a way, time is unrewindable.
A sigh for it!
I really don't know whether time stops or it flows unchanged without any outer influence. Anyway. Both mean the same here. Utsavams, utsavams and more utsavams. In everyday life. In everybody's life. It is a kind of a monarchy. A clan of people fiercely clinging to their shrinking boundaries, afraid of losing their identites and clinging yet more fiercely to it. It is the same with NRIs. It is the same with any sect/clan/tribe of people anywhere on earth.
Thiruvallikeni. Peyar kaaranam : Aazhwar mangalaasasanam. "Madamaa myilai Thiru Allikk keni kandene!" Thirumangai mannan in awe of Shri Parthasarathy swami.
Of my fondest rememberances, long and ardent pradakshanams in the temple. Without thinking about the time, the long hours spent in the temple Agraharathil kazhudaigalaga(Jon Abraham- rest long his departed soul) valam vantha ninavugal.
One thing I guess I was blessed with was by the beach. Wind blowing, sand slightly sifting under expectant feet, running towards the warm warm water(unlike the horrible 45 F water here in the states), salt spraying with the wind and water. Ships in anchor in the Madras harbour, imagined to be much much bigger than actual. Quiet confidences exchanged with the universe(Na unna pathukaren, neeyum enna pathukanum), the sea arousing untamed thoughts of adventure, treasures and foreign lands. Chin cupped in the bend on the knees.Hands clasping legs tightly around the chest. As though to prevent the legs running away with the heart. Eyes staring far ahead as if to penetrate time and space. Thoughts running wild.
Or.
Quiet meditation. Eyes closed and in sync with the wind blowing. After sometime, almost as an reflex, ears tune only to the wind. Sound of automobiles and humans are completely blanked out. Peace. Peace. Shanti. "Akka, akka..seruppu.. thanni adichundu porathu!!" AHA!!!!!!!!! a rogue wave.
At moments a few thoughts about the societal differences :prompted by the bleak appearance of the sundal boy or man. A piercing sorrow in the heart which reminds that I, with all my comfort, am whiling time away at the beach. While this poor guy has to roam all over it for a few rupees. In a strange way, even Heaven without freedom is prison. So true. Relative happiness.
A very important aspect of the beach is the "kuri solra ladies". They will have this 'kol' and come and sing in riddles, capture your attention with their cahrming,beautifully accented, authentic, rural tamil and there you will go.. A fresh set of dreams 40 Rs minus.
Invariably in all their predictions will be a member of the opposite sex waiting to profess undying love to you. Also would be included vague pointers to joyous future, good job. They are very good sales people. They sell happiness for a few rupees.
One of my erst while friends always used to remark that when he felt very low, he would go to a soothsayer and pay him 40Rs to feel good. It would (he claimed) would always increase his positive output. It is quite true.
Hmmm. Is it true that even thinking about good times can place a sigh on your lips and a tug on your heart? Hmm.
I guess so. All the crap about enjoying life and remembering it in tough times. No man. It does not brighten your mood. About the change to a positive nature, I am not pretty sure about. But I always think it leaves you sadder and more thoughtful. As though thinking about a past dream you can never get back too. In a way, time is unrewindable.
A sigh for it!
Saturday, October 13, 2007
Akkaravadisal
I am not too much into writing cook blogs as I just read and work on recipes. Not yet into creating something original. Creating a cook blog is amazing work. Till recently I thought it was all about thalichufying, vegetables adding, mashing, mixing, blending, cooking, sauting and eating.
But a short while ago, in the most unlikeliest of places it dawned upon me that the coffee's taste is highly changed or 'flavorized' with different kinds of pastries that go alongside : STARBUCKS. and I also experienced it the same day.
So the lesson? A cook must flavor the tastes and store them under his/her tongue. When tamarind comes to the mind, the tanginess must be released under the tongue salivating. When red chilli is to be added, the modification must undergo the inside the mouth. In effect, before cooking, the taste must be with the cook.
A sort of an 'anusandan' one does after yoga. A ritual of exercises, followed by deep thought stimulation wherein the exercises are repeated with the reactions stimulated by the brain rather than the muscles. Very efeective. I must tell you.
So the cook must have a repertoire of tastes and smells and must be extremely sensitive with his/her olfactory and oral nerves.
Yesterday being Navarathri Velli Kizhamai and the first day of the Navrathri, I decided to make some sweet pudding for Ummachi. What could else be the choice? I will now give it a title, "The king of Iyengar dishes". Aazhwar in his hymns for "Thiruniradal" - bathing ceremony of the Lord- tells the kind "akkaram paalil kalanthu, sonnapa naan suttu veithen, Narana neerada varai". Such is the might of the dish that Krishna comes running to bath.
So akkaravadisal it was..yesterday..
Called amma @ 10:30 ISD. :)) Athukkulla enga amma niththiraa deviyin pinnaippil sikki erunthal(kalki style). Wake up mom.."Akkaravadisal eppdi ma panrathu?" ;."ammam di. kekkara nazhiya paru? kathala thane phone panna?" ;"please ma. late agarthu!!!"; "onnum akkarivadisal ellam panna vendam. kai koopi Perumala sevi. padi. panna vanthuta samayala masters panna poitu"/
Then good sense prevailed. Amma recipe solla, I completed it amidst a lot of test against fire. I repeat the recipe here. It turned out to be amazing.
Ingredients :
1. 3/4 cup rice
2. 1/4 pasi paruppu
3. 1.5 litres (atleast) milk. More needed if neccessary
4. 2 cups jaggery(minimum. If u r a sweet toothy, then 2+1/4 should be okay)
5. ghee, cashews, badam, raisins, etc, --lot if you like to much during cooking.. :)) This gonna take a long time.
The actual procedure :
1. The table is cleaned.
2. Set up the bunsen burner.
3. Aluminum is ...
oops!!! sorry!!!!!! 12th standard thane padikaren..konjam tension agiten..;))
Sei murai villakam :
1. Place a deep bottomed vessal(preferably Indian make) on the stove. Light the stove or you will be cooking forever.
2. Heat two tablesoons of ghee and slightly saute the rice+pasi parrupu for 3-4 minutes. Not too much heat.
3. Add the milk to completely cover the rice and cook on open vessal. A pressure cooker might be used. But you have every chance of burning the milk if less quantity is used and you cant really predict it.
4. Take the trouble to keep stirring the mixture. "adi pudichudama pathukanum".
5. Keep adding milk in gradual steps till the entire of the rice is "completely"-fully, totally, absolutely... cooked. Very imperative.
6. Take offf from the fire. Mash the rice completely.
7. Place another(or the same washed) deep bottomed vessal on heat. Slightly grease with a little ghee.
8. Put the jaggery slivered into the pan and add 1/4 tumbler of water.
9. Melt all the jaggery in the heat and boil for 3 minutes.
10. Slowly from a careful position, add the mashed rice in steps to the jaggery.
11. Mix thoroughly to remove the lumps of rice to get a liquidish consistency.
12. If it is too thick, add milk.
13. Add ghee as the mixture cooks in the jaggery.
14. Remove from fire 6-7 minutes later
14. Top with a spoonful of ghee, cashews(roasted in ghee and if any are left), badam, raisins(dont roast) and elaichi powder.
15. Ummachi kku amsiya pannitu, namba sapidalam.
:)) Long post but I thoroughly enjoyed cooking it yesterday. Wish you were all here to share it. The least I can do is to share the recipe.. :))
But a short while ago, in the most unlikeliest of places it dawned upon me that the coffee's taste is highly changed or 'flavorized' with different kinds of pastries that go alongside : STARBUCKS. and I also experienced it the same day.
So the lesson? A cook must flavor the tastes and store them under his/her tongue. When tamarind comes to the mind, the tanginess must be released under the tongue salivating. When red chilli is to be added, the modification must undergo the inside the mouth. In effect, before cooking, the taste must be with the cook.
A sort of an 'anusandan' one does after yoga. A ritual of exercises, followed by deep thought stimulation wherein the exercises are repeated with the reactions stimulated by the brain rather than the muscles. Very efeective. I must tell you.
So the cook must have a repertoire of tastes and smells and must be extremely sensitive with his/her olfactory and oral nerves.
Yesterday being Navarathri Velli Kizhamai and the first day of the Navrathri, I decided to make some sweet pudding for Ummachi. What could else be the choice? I will now give it a title, "The king of Iyengar dishes". Aazhwar in his hymns for "Thiruniradal" - bathing ceremony of the Lord- tells the kind "akkaram paalil kalanthu, sonnapa naan suttu veithen, Narana neerada varai". Such is the might of the dish that Krishna comes running to bath.
So akkaravadisal it was..yesterday..
Called amma @ 10:30 ISD. :)) Athukkulla enga amma niththiraa deviyin pinnaippil sikki erunthal(kalki style). Wake up mom.."Akkaravadisal eppdi ma panrathu?" ;."ammam di. kekkara nazhiya paru? kathala thane phone panna?" ;"please ma. late agarthu!!!"; "onnum akkarivadisal ellam panna vendam. kai koopi Perumala sevi. padi. panna vanthuta samayala masters panna poitu"/
Then good sense prevailed. Amma recipe solla, I completed it amidst a lot of test against fire. I repeat the recipe here. It turned out to be amazing.
Ingredients :
1. 3/4 cup rice
2. 1/4 pasi paruppu
3. 1.5 litres (atleast) milk. More needed if neccessary
4. 2 cups jaggery(minimum. If u r a sweet toothy, then 2+1/4 should be okay)
5. ghee, cashews, badam, raisins, etc, --lot if you like to much during cooking.. :)) This gonna take a long time.
The actual procedure :
1. The table is cleaned.
2. Set up the bunsen burner.
3. Aluminum is ...
oops!!! sorry!!!!!! 12th standard thane padikaren..konjam tension agiten..;))
Sei murai villakam :
1. Place a deep bottomed vessal(preferably Indian make) on the stove. Light the stove or you will be cooking forever.
2. Heat two tablesoons of ghee and slightly saute the rice+pasi parrupu for 3-4 minutes. Not too much heat.
3. Add the milk to completely cover the rice and cook on open vessal. A pressure cooker might be used. But you have every chance of burning the milk if less quantity is used and you cant really predict it.
4. Take the trouble to keep stirring the mixture. "adi pudichudama pathukanum".
5. Keep adding milk in gradual steps till the entire of the rice is "completely"-fully, totally, absolutely... cooked. Very imperative.
6. Take offf from the fire. Mash the rice completely.
7. Place another(or the same washed) deep bottomed vessal on heat. Slightly grease with a little ghee.
8. Put the jaggery slivered into the pan and add 1/4 tumbler of water.
9. Melt all the jaggery in the heat and boil for 3 minutes.
10. Slowly from a careful position, add the mashed rice in steps to the jaggery.
11. Mix thoroughly to remove the lumps of rice to get a liquidish consistency.
12. If it is too thick, add milk.
13. Add ghee as the mixture cooks in the jaggery.
14. Remove from fire 6-7 minutes later
14. Top with a spoonful of ghee, cashews(roasted in ghee and if any are left), badam, raisins(dont roast) and elaichi powder.
15. Ummachi kku amsiya pannitu, namba sapidalam.
:)) Long post but I thoroughly enjoyed cooking it yesterday. Wish you were all here to share it. The least I can do is to share the recipe.. :))
Thursday, October 11, 2007
Strange! Strange
There are some things that just scare the living daylights out of you. One of these things happened to me today.
I am very forgetful person. The typical absent minded professor to such an extent that in case anything is missing(say a PO box key/LG Perungaya dabba....) my roomie looks in the fridge, freezer, bed and all the improbable places and then gets to the place where it is supposed to be. The last never happens!!!!!
I know it is not something to proud of. Hey! Come on! All humans must have faults!! (For those who think I am not the Goddess Herself):))))
So what happens this evening? I finish cooking an amazing, awesome vetha kozhambhu that tastes like nectar, ambrosia, whatever! DIVINE. Decide to get to the lab. Finish dressing, shoes, socks just closing the door.
Whatamint. They need something to turn in the lock right? What is it? What am I missing here? Ah! The key.
A frantic scramble for removing the shoes, limping about on 1 foot and 15 minutes later : no key. Desk, under the desk, key holder, microwave, fridge, freezer, restroom, bed, couch, under the couch, in the small hole that is hidden from view under the pillow!!!!!!!!!
Man! I am totally lost. My roomie was out for the evening and I could get out of the house but not into the lab!
All my plans tumbling around me, I made a frantic dash to the Perumal Sannithi and gave myself up to the Divine. Appa!!! Please pa, chaviya eduthu kodungo. lab poganum!
No avail at all. I began to slowly lose hope of working this evening. When I came back to the hall and there She was. Ammaaaa!! This addressed to Ranganayaki Thayar in my hall. eduthuthanthudu. Again the table, under the table...
2 minutes. Me standing in the middle of the hall, hands into my crowning glory(actually there is not much of it) and loud profanities about to issue forth in full profusion. When....
I turn a 180 degrees. The table. And in plumb view. A bunch of keys. With a flashy green USB attached to it. You know what? No one could have missed it. No. Not even me.
It was sitting smack at the middle of the desk grinning its green teeth at me and daring me to believe I missed it all along. I turned to Thayar and uttered a silent thanks. Still unconvinced and totally disoriented, I sat on the couch. Or rather flopped on to it.
All laws of physics, opthalmology, improbability theory applied : The key wasnt there on the table. Not an instant before. If time could have been wound so fast, the key could not have been there.
Not until an invisible Hand picked it up and dropped it in the table where this goofy wont miss it.
Though I can believe(as my patti always says), " there is an ikshini(ghost) about around me that plays these kinds of tricks to see me distressed", I will choose it that my mom took time back to relieve me of my suffering.
I shall now endeavour to make my readers believe that the key WASN'T there rather than I did not see it. Also to learn to believe in everyday miracles without which life would be extremely bland indeed!
Thayar Thiruvadi Charanam!
I am very forgetful person. The typical absent minded professor to such an extent that in case anything is missing(say a PO box key/LG Perungaya dabba....) my roomie looks in the fridge, freezer, bed and all the improbable places and then gets to the place where it is supposed to be. The last never happens!!!!!
I know it is not something to proud of. Hey! Come on! All humans must have faults!! (For those who think I am not the Goddess Herself):))))
So what happens this evening? I finish cooking an amazing, awesome vetha kozhambhu that tastes like nectar, ambrosia, whatever! DIVINE. Decide to get to the lab. Finish dressing, shoes, socks just closing the door.
Whatamint. They need something to turn in the lock right? What is it? What am I missing here? Ah! The key.
A frantic scramble for removing the shoes, limping about on 1 foot and 15 minutes later : no key. Desk, under the desk, key holder, microwave, fridge, freezer, restroom, bed, couch, under the couch, in the small hole that is hidden from view under the pillow!!!!!!!!!
Man! I am totally lost. My roomie was out for the evening and I could get out of the house but not into the lab!
All my plans tumbling around me, I made a frantic dash to the Perumal Sannithi and gave myself up to the Divine. Appa!!! Please pa, chaviya eduthu kodungo. lab poganum!
No avail at all. I began to slowly lose hope of working this evening. When I came back to the hall and there She was. Ammaaaa!! This addressed to Ranganayaki Thayar in my hall. eduthuthanthudu. Again the table, under the table...
2 minutes. Me standing in the middle of the hall, hands into my crowning glory(actually there is not much of it) and loud profanities about to issue forth in full profusion. When....
I turn a 180 degrees. The table. And in plumb view. A bunch of keys. With a flashy green USB attached to it. You know what? No one could have missed it. No. Not even me.
It was sitting smack at the middle of the desk grinning its green teeth at me and daring me to believe I missed it all along. I turned to Thayar and uttered a silent thanks. Still unconvinced and totally disoriented, I sat on the couch. Or rather flopped on to it.
All laws of physics, opthalmology, improbability theory applied : The key wasnt there on the table. Not an instant before. If time could have been wound so fast, the key could not have been there.
Not until an invisible Hand picked it up and dropped it in the table where this goofy wont miss it.
Though I can believe(as my patti always says), " there is an ikshini(ghost) about around me that plays these kinds of tricks to see me distressed", I will choose it that my mom took time back to relieve me of my suffering.
I shall now endeavour to make my readers believe that the key WASN'T there rather than I did not see it. Also to learn to believe in everyday miracles without which life would be extremely bland indeed!
Thayar Thiruvadi Charanam!
Subscribe to:
Posts (Atom)