Monday, June 18, 2007

Some major changes

I have always felt that I was poised on something important that was about to happen. My life has been on a threshold ever since mom and dad started pestering me about my marriage. I hate to be pushed into a relation. Thats probably the one thing I hate more than anything else.

Talking over something with your antagonists is supposed to help but!!! Here they are too close minded on this issue. They dont even want me to talk over it. You are 24. You need to get married..Thats it. 24, Single!!!! PREPOSTEROUS..

This season.. The summer session 2 has been an emotional roller coaster ride for me.
There has been lot of torubles with my advisor.He asked me register for summer and left on a holiday!!!! How does that sound? I am standing stake to lose like 1200$ for something I wasnt even responsible for. Being unfunded, this has just left me with my daylights out of me.

One of my friends. Friend? Is it even possible to define any relationship with that name? Or atleast mine with this person? Sometimes, words are just inadequate. So I shall remain mundane and use the word friend. Though it rips me apart to call him by that cliched word. He has left me forever. I think so.

There are certain situations in life. I realized this right now. Till now, I was hanging on to the life line,"nothing is unchangeable"..I just realized that everything that has gone by in this world..They are all unchangeable events. Not one of them can be put straight again. Not one!!! I am in my first situation now. I made a decision to respect the privacy of somebody who was close to both of us. Now the privacy has gone forever and has destroyed the trust in a relationship.

The fault was entirely on me. I was on an unfair advantage in the situation. It has simultaneously ripped two people out of my life: both of whom I respect and admire. One of them was extremely close to me. But it really doesnt matter.

So I am out of a job, out of school, have an outstanding fine of 1200$, a medical insurance claim for 1000$, friendless and unpitied in a foreign land!!!

How does that sound for starters?

But I am not a whiner. This post was just to remind me of the obstacles that I am yet to face. Yet to set right. But I am on track. I shall be leaving school this september. And my OPT starts October. I shall be alright.

Life shall pick itslef up and move on. Trudge for a while. But it will start singing its way along after sometime..Yes. Singing its way on..I am very positive person by birth. Though I appear very negative on the outside. I can deal with situations and move on.

It is just difficult to understand this phrase "Move on". So easy to utter and so difficult to execute!! Hmmm..

Long enough for now..As I muse my way around...Join me in a strong dose of life, fun, misery and picking up again...

I have another blog too..prapathi.blogspot.com. It is about my search for the divine.

If you have read till this..Welcome again..

8 comments:

THIRU VIKRAMAN said...

ithuvum kadanthu pokum.....

Vanjula said...

Hi thiru,
Nandri Hai!!! it really helps.. also this blog id might also change over the next few days..so try to stay tuned..:(

hamsa

Prakash G said...

sometimes I wonder, whether I have dual personality and writes the blog in the name of Hamsa [ or VanjulaValli] in night. u r words are like my twin half. when I left the college I was having -$50 [ yeah minus fifty ] in bank and was having $20000 due in my credit cards. Life will pass by.

Vanjula said...

@ Prakash,
really? Man! That helps a lot. I am not very very worse off.. thanks.

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