A change of a positive nature..

I have felt like I would never be this down ever again. Three times in my life. Or maybe four. One of those I have corrected. One I will, I can and have to live it down. One I can never ever feel better about. The last? I dont know what way it will turn into.

But all the three previous times?? I have got up. Dusted myself off and never looked back. I shall do it this time too.

Sometimes I wonder if God ever gave us the chance of making decisions. Are we really allowed to make or take decisions? Or we only those who stand by..mere instruments of a divining Almighty? Is the whole world only a stage? Or is there something that we actually do in it to change the dynamic balance?

To change. To forget. To let go. And to live afterwards. I always wanted to have a small pup. I would have loved it. Named it Ryder. But it would have become my love. My life. My everything. But if it goes,there is no more any Vanjula. She is dead. Because I am person who loves to love. When my love is displaced or is threatened I get devastated. So till date, I have never got Ryder. Though I did get a chance once.

I must learn to distribute my attentions. My love. Remove it from something that is perishable and to place it something that is forever.

I love this line from the Thirukkural..
" Patruga pattrataan patrinai patruga
appatrai patru vidarkku"

Lovely isnt it? In case you are(ahem!!) coughing and clearing your throats with the seemingly incomprehensible tamil? Here is an almost(!!)impossible translation into English..

"Attach yourself to the one who has no attachment; Attach
to Him for all attachments to disappear"

Here the attachment refers to the hold of the humanity to wealth,women,men, lifestyes, material possesions, interests and even life or death.

Hold onto the One who has no attachment for a complete release from all other attachments which are but nooses around your neck. The neck of your soul.

I rest