Ah! The temptation of Eve..

It was not so much about the apple I guess. It was more rather the realistic pursuit of the idealistic. Attainment of something that is supposed to be impassable. In this episode, I will actually side with Eve and her serpent. The attitude was the right one. The act of questioning and the issue of morals.

What is faith without proof? I would call it false belief and superstition. Eve questioned God and was punished for it. But she knew something for it.The fruit got her knowledge. Truly. And morals?

Exactly what is moral behaviour? Who sets morals? Is the so called holier than thou attitude and sacre bleu expressions the right moral attitude? Eve was sure that she would be punished for it.But she wanted knowledge. So is her attitude questionable here?

Who would then explain secret investigations into science? The act of cloning, atom bomb? All these would be abhorred by God. For sure. But don't we do it? Do we stop it in the name of God? Then why are we talking about Eve and her fall?

The question of morality.

When I named this blog the immoral wanderer, I revealed to myself an extreme hatred for a constricted society. An atavistic attitude towards freedom. I wanted to be unfettered from all the chains that bonded man to the society. I made my own rules and lived by what I believed in.

But when I come to think of it, my response towards issues that rock the society…I feel I am no less moral than any other rule abiding citizen. I think before throwing dirt on the ground, wouldn’t consider any of the criminally oriented but coffer enriching quick rich schemes...drugs, rapes, all spell bound me with extreme horror and loathing.

But then... Why do I call myself immoral? I am one of the most extremely morale people I have ever met. Probably the thing that goes, “Middle class morality”. The poor don’t have enough to worry about it. The rich they don’t need to worry about it. The middle class has only it to worry about.

The inherent and basic need to go back to tribal times. Throw out the rule hook by its hinges and stamp hard upon it.

This Goddamn morality of mine: I hate it. It forces me to throw away a single quarter I found in the washing machine. It forces me to count each and every small change in fear I may have taken in excess. It makes me grovel with shame when I feel I have hurt somebody. Even smallest of lies, about not having a pencil, makes me think I deserve the wrathful eye of God. Even the truth, about not having a pencil makes me feel about not having a pencil to help my fellow brethren.

I wanted to break free from all this. I don’t want to be in a bound society. I don’t want not to do something because I should be punished for it.

I should live life by my books.

And the big question why? Why should be having any morals at all? When the whole world around me is base and degenerate: Why should I be tying myself to moorings of a sinking ship called virtue and be dragged about my neck?

Above all: I hate this sentence: Do to others what you want them to do to you.

Does this statement have any meaning in this world? Please. Not at all. All people do is ignore, use, exploit and kill: if not lives, feelings. I don’t want to do this to anybody.

I wish I had been born a white necked eagle, as Gwaihir in the LOtR. I would have been peacefully in mountain eyries and forgotten by all but poachers. But death must come as to all. And if it is to be by a poacher, I accept it.

But till then. It will be my world and my skies with nobody to think about/worry about. Not feel sorry about picking up a rat for dinner.

Why can’t people just be more understanding? Why do they have to be selfish? Why thoughtless? WHY CANT I BE ALL THESE!!!!!!!!

Why the heck do I have to bother about what people say and what they think before speaking out a single word?

Because, my chithi says, “Don’t lose the intrinsic value of being Hamsa by trying to be human. It is just not worth it.”

Ah! The fall of Eve..Where is thy serpent now, thou holy myth?