Dinner and the demon in me.

I think I am extremely sensitive. I come across maybe at first sight a dont care attitude person. But I know that I am extremely not so. I get hurt very easily and everything just seems to happen so for me.

When I ever I do something with the greatest of enthusiasms..I am dropped like a dish of hot potatoes..

My friend drives home from Newyork. I cook him food..Greatest of care. four hours.. of carfeul preparations. When the moment comes, "thanks di but I dont eat hot stuff" -- reaction as dead as a mackeral on my neighbour's plate.

Somebody says at a party in Austin on New year's day," you have never cooked for me. can you do so tomorrow??"

I cook for him. Again after a 3 o clock bash. Get up and cook for unfeeling idiots. He comes in at 12:15 for a 1:00 flight and rushes through lunch like a bull at a red cloth.

What about today??? I cook dinner for two of my friends and the all the reaction they can muster is " hmmm.".

It is not that I am bad cook. I get to eat what I cook and I know it is good. Maybe today it was slightly like mushy. For they were impatient to eat and I did not wait till my masterpiece was done!!! :) :) :)

I am very quick to anger and hurt. I give everything I have to my friends. Anything. Everything. I dont even expect the same from them. I used to. But I stopped for I knew that unconditional love is just one sided. But when I cant even seem to get a quantum of affection from my closest friends.

Today I was left thinking. I have never cooked for my parents. Nothing for my 2 friends back home. Nothing. And Here I come to America and cook for all Tom, Dick and Harry..For nothing in return.

I am never going to invite anybody for lunch, dinner or breakfast henceforth!!! So all those who are reading this: You may come to Lexington but dont come to my house for food. For in all probability I shall throw you out!!!

(Horns, tail, black costume, red eyes!!!)