A penny into the wishing well

I closed my eyes to pray. I was in my favorite temple :Parthasarathy Perumal Koil in Madras, Triplicane. "Vedhathai Vedathin suvai payanai.." chanted the Thirumangai alwar's pasuram in pristine tamil.
I opened my eyes to see the Lord in crowning glory. I smiled and left. As I walking in the Praharam, I was reminded of all my child hood happiness in this temple. I took a seat near the Vedavalli Thayar sannithi and rewound time. Spent a few eons in the timeless happiness of nostalgia..

As I had once walked along with patti, holding my hand, hair oiled and plaited, Jadai nagam and kunjalam firmly in place, a necklace shimmering in my neck. Pattu pavadai and sattai of brilliant blue. Hands in bangles and feet set in anklets. I think I was three at that time. My most vivid memories were of that time. I remember everything that happened around that time. Dont know why.

Lost my way from school(ran away from LKG class) and landed up on the bench of sub inspector of police, Triplicane. I remember everything from that instant. I can relive another 20 years just thinking of what had happened these twenty years.

I am crying. My cherubic face which had lost all touches with the little familiarity it had known. I repeat "Sampath appa, Sugantha amma, Bala anna, patti" over and over again with the blundering tone of an infant. The sub inspector not knowing what to do with me.

He puts me in a rickshaw and takes me all over Triplicane. Street by street, when I shout "Ellaman Koil..Ellaman Koil". Till date, I believe the only reason as to what I am today is that temple and the Goddess who reigns in it. She roped me back to my territory. The love that parents had afforded to me would have been all lost if I had fallen into other's hands. Even now my father does not remember the incident without a shudder.

Getting back. That day I guess I made my first wish. "("Please. Whoever you are"--unspoken)Amma pakkanum. Appa venum. Annaaaa.." My first message to God. Heard and replied instantly.

Is there even a moment of our lifes that we live without making a wish?? Anybody??No. We pray even if it is to ourselves or to other humans constantly of something or the other constantly. For that is the only hope that mankind has got. To believe that somebody might hear them and make their lives better.

So I thought it would be a beautiful way to think about my wishes to God and about its direct consequences.

One of my first wishes were that "I should die before Mom and dad." I used to be smothered in their affection and love for me that even today I pray to God that my wish remains unchanged. I dont ever want to live without both of them.

I had everyday prayers which went like :
1. Amma should never come to know that I broke those blue bangles,
2. I should get a rubber out of the great box that appa got from Singapore. (I hate mom. She does not give me even one measly rubber!!!)
3. Sweets. Ice creamssssssssss
4. Beach poganum!!!
5.Homework e eruka koodathu entha olagathuliye. Enna mathri kutti papas kku atleast!!! Please pa.
6. Maths ma'am innikku absent a erukanum. I have not done my homework(This EVERYDAY).
7. Appa report card a padikama sign podanum.(again. every trimester!! sigh!!)
and lots and lots of petty things and pretty ones too.

As I grew up my wishes grew less petulant and more meaningful : As meaningful as life gets to a teenager.
1. Appa,(refer to God), Inniku saranga na pakkanum. Pesanum.
2. Sarang kooda sandai. Please sorry keka veiungo(Avana).
3. Gotta meet that handsome guy from DAV.!! Tenth doubts,. (Amma, na karthikka pathutu varen)
4. Andava!! Inniku enna mani ratnam pathu ethavathu sooper padathula Heroine a!! atleast hero voda thangaiya poda mattara??? Appuram I can move to the top.
5. Cha! Antha fair and lovely advertisement la vara ponnu eppdi eruka? Nannum avala mathri?
6. Amma antha salwar enakku Diwali kku vangi tharanum..

Lots and lots of petty quarrels and fights. Wishes as meaningful as How humans can eat crabs to crabs.,

Then I progressed onto.
1. GRE la 2400 adikanum
2. English la state rank.
3. Maths teacher oziga!! Hate her.
4. Aiyo!!Na kannadi pottuka matten,. Andava!!"enna mani ratnam patha??? soda butti nu soliduvare!!"
5. America.
6. IIT/ BITS, Pilani.
7. Aiyo!!atleast SVCE??
8. Thanks pa!! SVCE
9. please appa. "ennaku friends venum! ennoda pesa yaravathu? oruthar"
10. Thanks pa. Akila.
11. Onnume illa. Thanks.

Finally I found that after I finished my college I had nothing to wish for. I had no illusions left in life. I am a loner. Friends? Few and far in between. But happy. As happy as a rain in spring.

These days. I pray for others. Amma, appa, patti, friends, Anna, Manni. The world. The earth. Nature. (May all these be not destroyed by the ugliness of Man.!) Many many unfortunate souls in the world.

Once after watching a ghost movie, I surprised myself. My craziness had just reached a pinnacle. I prayed for the unfortunate lost souls in the world for God to move them to a safer place and give them happiness and peace atlast.

Did I stop becos I got everything I wanted? Can that ever be possible?? man getting everything he wants. No. I found out very soon that I am asking of Him who can grant the Universe, a pebble. I found that what He deems to me is far far better than what I ask Him.

Today. When I close my eyes to pray.My thoughts go..

"Ichuvai Thavira yan poi enthira logam aalum achuvai perinum venden Arangama Nagarulane."

Avan arulale avan thal vanangi..