!!!!!!!!!

I really really did not know what to name this post. It is more like a complete "polambals" stuff. I know I am very very lucky. I am blessed. I have everything I wish for and more. But.

There are sometimes when you just need somebody to be next to you. Thats all. Thats what I am wishing for now. I am in my lab. It is 7:30 in the evening and I have a long night at hand. But alone. Like 5 more hours of work without a soul to turn to.

I have bee struck by this ennui that is tortuous. I have so much to do. My ANSYS project, my controls assignment, Math assignment. But I just cant get to bring myself to do that extra bit of effort to snap shut out of this ennui. I am sitting in the lab. I just somebody to talk to me. But isnt it strange that when you really need a person to see, to talk to, to turn to or just to keep you mute company. You really dont get one.

But when you would rather be alone and by yourself, the rest of the world is dropped on you and every Tom,Dick and Harry is out eavesdropping on your innermost thoughts!!!!

I have my finals in 2 weeks. That is the last of my coursework and I am absolutely happy. Yes. Definitely.


I am sick of deadlines, homeworks and assignments and tests!! All I want to do is work at a nice research centre, come home to a bit of gardening, three weeks of travel an year and thats it!!!

But right now. I just need a human to sit by me and think out aloud, to talk, disturb me, make fun, laugh, rant nonsense. Anything. Anything. As long as it is a human. I just dont care. Really!!!

Oh God! Express delivery, a human being...live one please!

Sniff sniff

Have you ever wondered about smells? No. Not the right word. Scents would be more appropriate. I was just micro waving some appalams. I got a kinda olfacatory reaction(read as: dont know how to express it) that reminded me of mom. I had appalams all through the week till they ran out.

I guess it was this kitcheny smell back home. I used to be rushing out to college. Just having time for a quick peck on the cheek to mom as she toiled away in the Thiru Madapalli or thaligai panra ull!! That smell came back today in US of A from the microwave.

The same way. I work at a math lab. I was dozing. So thought it would be a good idea to wash my face. I have never used the restroom at this wing of the building before(partly because it is kinda totally eerie). I opened the door and stood stunned. Man! I was struck by this total perfumed air that swept over and rushed outside(Dont even laugh!) It was cuticura. Have you heard of this powder? Cuticura. It was precisely that. And as you guessed right, I love the smell.

Sometimes I feel you would feel the world better if one of your senses is given the break. How would the world smell? How would you recognize people by their perfumes. The scents. Maybe you would feel like a dog. But still.

I remember times back in college where we would be able to tell which guy had stood there(I came from a mechanical dept. No chance for meeting a girl) by the trail of perfume.

The smell of fungi raising from freshly washed soil(Mann vasanai). The smell of food. The smell of a well known neighbourhood. The scent of vethakozhambhu. The scent of Radhika's oiled hair. Pondicherry agarbathi. A freshly baked loaf of bread. The concrete smell.(Hate it!!!)

To top the list, petrol/kerosene. Stealthy expeditions to mama's vehicle to open the fuel tank and have a sniff of the forbidden fruit. Hmm.. sniff. sniff.

When we go to a temple, the heady aroma of flowers, agarbathis, oil lamps, silks, gold and of course the Lord. Therapautic I guess. (Dont know if I got the spelling right!!). There is a sevai called "Vishvaroopa sevai" in most Vaishnavaite temples. It is the first sevai of the morn and the doors are thrown open. When the doors open, the air inside rushes out. A whole nightful of air caressing the Lord. hmmm. A experience beyond compare.!!

Kannal nan unnai kandathillai.

Navaal nam uraiadiyathillai.

Anal un sparisathin mel patta katru en theendum pothu,,,

Nan uraigiran. Paniyai karaigiren.

Brahman nasiyai padaithathey unnai nugarathano
Endru enga veikum un vasanai..

Nee yar endru kathara veikkum un..enna?

Nan than unnai parthathey illaiye?

Kalaiyil malargalai..

Pagalil vannai, mannai, villakaai, nasiyil
mothi ennai thahikum kanalai,..

Iravil marmamai, kadhalai, kanavai..

Unai na nugarkiran..kanamudiyamal ponal enna.

Katru...
very very feeble attempt at expressing my love for nature and her beauty...But I guess I feel that way. People say I have my nose too much in the air. It is true. Literally. I sniff my way around for there are so many sights of the nose we miss by seeing only with the eyes..

:)) Smell good. Do good. :))

Aah..

Isainthal nam iruvarin Swaramum

namathagum.

Thisai veranalum aazhiser aarugal
mughilai mazhaiyai pozhivathu pol

isai

nam isai...

Mile sur mera tumhara..tho sur bane hamara..