The walking dead

Strange way to start writing again. I have been in India again and yet again after my last post but there is still something inside me that refuses to open up to blog. Feeling terrible about it. Ideas fleet about. Things that I love, things that are new to me, people around me, the very life around me has changed so dramatically in the past 7 months that one might guess I would have had tons to write about. Sadly no.

Even now it is actually deep sadness that makes me write this. Rather than happiness. We watch movies of zombies and ghosts and the undead. But I think that there is something dead within each of us that never is laid to rest even when we sleep. Even as we live. Every single day - waking up with the sun and fading away with the night. I think I will call it the walking dead.

Today mine came to haunt me. Actually only one of them did. There are so many dead pasts within me that I feel I am shuttering more things that I open these days. It is like a previous birth - a dream which you see when you are awake. It flashes before your eyes and you are left clinging to the table for support. Tears well up and engulf my living self before I can ford them.

Sometimes another living self that is a part of the dead me comes alive before me. Haunting. Well. Blabber of the day.

Welcome to the world of the dead.