Sendru ser Thiru Vengada Maamalai

There cannot be a Shrine more popular and beloved of all the Hindu shrines than the one of the Lord of the Seven Hill. Thirupati. The Lord’s appellation is Srinivasan from the prehistoric times, named so in the Vishnu Sahasranamam. Thayar Padmavati, Alar mel mangai.

I remember going to Thirupati as a kid. Very vague recollections and almost no memory of the Lord till it pleased Him to call me again and take a good look at how much I had grown. This was during my college days. After which I did get to go a lot of times during the 2 years before I came to the US.

The first time I did get to go back, I was strangely petulant. I had not traveled much to shrines before then and I was unadjusted to the rigors. To tell you the truth, I did not even climb the Hill nor take a public bus. We drove up the Hill in comfort, boarded in a great hotel and ate at a choicy place.

Then took our places in the queue to see the Lord. Hour after hour stretched out without the site of the Temple entrance. The group consisted of my parents, my brother, my mama/uncle and good ole me. For a while I stretched thin the patience of others by being a bundle of energy. Then fought with my brother, discussed philosophy (mine) with my uncle and refused to talk to my parents for not booking a more convenient ticket with which we could have gone straight to the sanctum. But all this did not fill the time. I grew more and more sober and silent and by the time we came to the Gates, I was drooping on my brother’s shoulder and almost in tears. No patience at all.

To be truthful, all the desire of seeing the Lord was gone. I just wanted to go out.

In time we reached the inner sanctum and the frenzy around us rose to a tremendous pitch. Chants of the Lord’s names, prayers, tears, sheer joy and happiness in the face of the people going the other way, solemn urges that they would stand 1000 more hours if need be to catch a glimpse of the Lord’s face. Then I saw the Dharma darshan’s queque. Poor people waiting for hours and hours patiently from the smallest child to the oldest granny. No sign of irritation, hunger, unhappiness or malcontent. It was an awakening. I was ashamed of my behaviour.

It was a few more steps to the Lord’s sanctum. We turned the corner and there He was, resplendent, shining, and amazingly handsome. The time had come. I forgot everything else, shouted the Lord’s name unashamed, happy, tears rolling down my face, forgot all my wishes and desires. Just seeing Him was the balm to all sufferings. I just said, “I love you and will do so for all my life”. Came outside completely rejenuvated. Oh! I will stand 1000 hours for the same darshan. My mom smiled and we went to Mayuri for lunch.

Thirupati has always been a fascinating experience to anyone who goes there. I have heard astounding stories of faith being answered and the instant succor the Lord extends to His devotees.

Swami Ramanuja perceived the Lord in the Hills and through His divine sight found that the entire hill was made of Saligrahmam, a holy stone and crawled on His knees to find the temple and the Lord. The Ramanuja circle in the Lower Tirupati is a small tribute of man to the Acharya who took the Lord by His love. Udaiyavar.

In the older days, before I went back again, if I prayed to Srinivasan, the picture that the TTD released eons ago, the famous “in all homes” picture, came to my thoughts. But after this visit and the subsequent ones, I can recall the Lord as He stands and pray to Him in my mind. Alwar says that one has to visit a divya desam/ temple atleast 3 times for the Lord’s face to be imprinted on to the mind.

My first trip back. It was a lesson. In patience, in humility, in devotion and in faith. It prepared me mentally and physically for my subsequent trips to Ahobilam and other places. I learnt that the Lord chooses to see us in the most appropriate moment. The next time I went to Tirupati, I was at the temple on my birthday, unplanned and not even realized.

Since then, my philosophy of going to temples has been this. If the Lord wants you there, you will be there no matter what. Even if after years of planning, you miss a darshan, it is because there is a better time for Him to see you.

As my cousin laughingly says, “Na Perumala pakkarenangarthu mukkiyam illa. Avar enna pakkararangarthu than mukkiyam.” --- “It is not important whether I see the Lord. But rather that He sees me”.

As Aandal lovingly prays,

“Thingalum Aadithyanum ezuntharpol
annkan erandum kondu engal mel nokkuthiyel,
engal mel sabam ezainthelorempaavai.

“If thou graces to gaze upon us with eyes that shine as though the moon and the sun shine together, all the sins upon us be done to perdition.”

My Lord! Thy will be done.