These days go about in a shroud of gloom I am not able to place at all. Something about an impending gloom. I get sudden inspirations to work and then lose it all: be it blogging, running, whatever. I write blogs and delete them. I am kind of stuck with this desultory attitude. I am restless at work and even more so at home.
I don’t sleep well. Sleep has gone out of the eyes. I seem to be doing a lot of thinking though. Too much. It is not about the H1-B. For me as far as I am considered, with the Lord by my side, it is a win-win situation. I can be anywhere and happy. But something is disturbing. Amma. Amma. Amma.
Yesterday, I dreamed of my Patti dying. Then I woke up and realized it was all a dream. Thank God!
I cook splendidly. I made tomato thokku and it came out amazing. I made uthapam recently and it was also a hit. But when it comes to steady concentration, I do not have any.
All my plans for studying for my MBA are going a waste. The subscription to Wall street Journal might have been for the wall. I do not even open my mail box to get it out, let alone read it.
My plans to learn Divya Prabhandam are in total disarray. I am not even close to re-mastering what I had learnt a good 100 Pasurams from Periyalwar Thirumozhi.
Everything I start seems to go to naught. I do not know why. I am planning to start a garden. I must work on it a bit. I keep looking at the clock incessantly at work. To get home. To look at the clock again.
Every minute of my life seems to be running a fight against time or something. I am not aware of what though.
I keep thinking of what to do when I get back to India permanently. Start learning dance, violin, kovil, kalakshetra, vaishnavism, Vaazhkai, amma, appa, Perumal, maybe get married and settle down in Adyar. (Do not know why though).
It is all a chimera. I am losing contact with anything outside my home. That is my problem. Long drives, lovely lunches, beautifully maintained apartment, music, nothing means a thing when you do not have a friend to share it with. So why can’t I make friends with Americans? I do not know. It wasn’t as though I did not try. It is only that people are either too old or too young for me. This is a town for happily marrieds. I am a happily single person. Hmmm. Things are taking a toll. Let’s see what happens. An outpouring meant to help me think. So no comments for this blog!
And I just noticed this. It is my 100th Post. What a sob story. I have a good mind to delete this blog!
Thursday, April 24, 2008
Monday, April 07, 2008
Of insipid blogs and mushroom chutneys..
Have you ever had mushroom chutney? Man! Even the thought revolts me. Colorless. Tasteless. Smelless. Saltless. I would not want to be blender even!!!
Sometimes. Just a tiny few times. I feel if it is worth anything at all. Blogging. Getting your thoughts out. Having people respond to your innermost feelings and doubts. Sometimes to reassure you and little nudge on forward and others to be inspired others to be angry with.
Insipid thoughts. Nothing worth writing about. Yet the urge to write. More than anything else. Nothing to talk: Yadda, yadda, yadda. But that’s life isn’t it?
On the other hand, blogs become so much about you that you talk about yourself day in and day out and forget about what it means to others. I do no think anyone would want to hear me talking about myself for 15 posts in a row. Nope. (If that's what my last 15 posts have been about: in a word: shucks!!)
Blogging is a commitment. Towards better writing, thought provoking articles. Articles that stand out and say, “This is my take on this.” And do it in short, concise, crisp,..adjectives, adjectives and more.. Maybe personal too. “This is mine. What about you?”
Or that is what I think about blogging though I have never myself followed the rules. But when I really read posts as colorful as yesterday’s mushroom chutney. Even when they are mine. I really go f***!!! Is it something I want to see published? Under my name? I have deleted 100s of posts that I wrote because I felt what I had written was sheer nonsense. Maybe this one’s going to go too.
But what angers me more is when I see a comment that eulogizes the above instead of trashing it. It is like the Heavens have opened and flowers come raining out. Deva Kannikas standing and singing.
There have been people who regularly have blogs that nobody can comment on. That’s their view, opinion or personal whim that nothing can’t change. I wish people would have one for stupid blogs too. I am going to do that from now on. Nobody can comment on what I think stupid. It was written because I was, at a crazy mood, strong enough to publish it.
Man!!!! The trouble with me when I wrote this post was:
a) I was under the influence of a stupid post which was commented as being next to PGW’s Wooster.
b) I have not had anything worthwhile to read for the past couple of months and I am going freaking mad and becoming an illiterate
c) I cannot because of the above reason find anything worthwhile to write.
But I cannot keep from writing because I just had a free moment at work. Oh Man! It is a vicious circle.
Comment section: Reserved for people who can suggest me something worthwhile to read and where I can find it(Read as: How can I lay my hands on it!!!!)
Sometimes. Just a tiny few times. I feel if it is worth anything at all. Blogging. Getting your thoughts out. Having people respond to your innermost feelings and doubts. Sometimes to reassure you and little nudge on forward and others to be inspired others to be angry with.
Insipid thoughts. Nothing worth writing about. Yet the urge to write. More than anything else. Nothing to talk: Yadda, yadda, yadda. But that’s life isn’t it?
On the other hand, blogs become so much about you that you talk about yourself day in and day out and forget about what it means to others. I do no think anyone would want to hear me talking about myself for 15 posts in a row. Nope. (If that's what my last 15 posts have been about: in a word: shucks!!)
Blogging is a commitment. Towards better writing, thought provoking articles. Articles that stand out and say, “This is my take on this.” And do it in short, concise, crisp,..adjectives, adjectives and more.. Maybe personal too. “This is mine. What about you?”
Or that is what I think about blogging though I have never myself followed the rules. But when I really read posts as colorful as yesterday’s mushroom chutney. Even when they are mine. I really go f***!!! Is it something I want to see published? Under my name? I have deleted 100s of posts that I wrote because I felt what I had written was sheer nonsense. Maybe this one’s going to go too.
But what angers me more is when I see a comment that eulogizes the above instead of trashing it. It is like the Heavens have opened and flowers come raining out. Deva Kannikas standing and singing.
There have been people who regularly have blogs that nobody can comment on. That’s their view, opinion or personal whim that nothing can’t change. I wish people would have one for stupid blogs too. I am going to do that from now on. Nobody can comment on what I think stupid. It was written because I was, at a crazy mood, strong enough to publish it.
Man!!!! The trouble with me when I wrote this post was:
a) I was under the influence of a stupid post which was commented as being next to PGW’s Wooster.
b) I have not had anything worthwhile to read for the past couple of months and I am going freaking mad and becoming an illiterate
c) I cannot because of the above reason find anything worthwhile to write.
But I cannot keep from writing because I just had a free moment at work. Oh Man! It is a vicious circle.
Comment section: Reserved for people who can suggest me something worthwhile to read and where I can find it(Read as: How can I lay my hands on it!!!!)
Wednesday, April 02, 2008
Is there a wrong end of the cake?
Maybe for America. There is.
The current struggle for the H1 B cap can be called a rat race by all accounts. It is an extremely difficult balancing act and I understand the plight of any government trying to win through the process. There is no win - win situation. Whatever happens, there are going to be people extremely disappointed.
One side, we have the Americans: It is their country. They are sinking into a recession. If the H1B cap is increased: It is going to decrease jobs for Americans. But are Americans really into High tech careers? America has had a history supported by immigration. There are no fields dominated by indigenous Americans. They are all dominated by Asian and European workers with a few American managers: Except for the defense sector.
If the H1B caps are not to be increased: US trained workers go back home: Meaning more jobs are again going to be outsourced to China and India.
Americans wake up: The world cannot be conquered by working 8:00 to 5:00. If there are people willing to work 8:00 AM to 8:00 PM: Employers are going to hire them. Cos corporations do what is good for them. With free markets and global trading, the inevitable shall happen: Jobs will go abroad and still leave the job market for Americans pretty thin.
Looking from the case of the foreign students educated in US: they pay a lot of money: Much more than a resident here with the hopes of training and working in a US oriented job market which will pay them returns for the work that they did. You have to accept that they worked 8:00 AM to 2:00 AM then to become what they are now. I would say Asian students do put in more amount of work than an American student would ever: And American professors do know that. So when you did not complain about it then, whining about it now is not going to help at all.
It is like the tax payer. When you pay 35% of your hard earned money to the government, you expect reforms; You want good colleges, more jobs, better standard of living and a strong economy. When the foreign students pay, 200% of the education costs along with tax, food and living: Is it unfair on their part to expect a good job and a strong contribution towards the country’s economy? America’s economy?
This situation is getting out of hand each year. America does not restrict people coming into the country to study. The Universities do like the idea of getting cheap labor and also higher education incomes: More than twice that a resident needs to pay. But when it comes to having in the country, working for America, higher salaries, better living: America balks out.
Either way for America, the solution is tough. Jobs are going to go abroad, richen economies that no longer are dependent on them while reducing number of jobs in America: Microsoft opened a Vancouver office in Canada recently to get around the visa cap. It may not long before it moves to India permanently.
If the H1-B cap is increased, it means American students finally have to wake up and work for their positions which they think is legally theirs but in truth it is not.
Thinking India or China as body shops and other degrading terms will not work out in the future. It is diversify or die. Restraining job markets to Americans will suffocate American economy which is in no position to supply its growing job demands and high tech skills.
In a nutshell, it would be a good legal move for America to open the H1B cap, if not the entirety, at least the US advanced degree holders to prevent US trained talent leaving the country. It would also be a balancing act to put restraint on incoming students, cut down the number of illegal visas, and false consultancies. More work on those lines will actually reduce the true H1B applicants in gigantic proportions.
In any event, I foresee a strong propensity for other economies like India/China becoming global strongholds for high tech industries with Europe and America falling prey to their own immigration rules after building on them so much.
You cannot have the cake and eat it too. Not for that long.
The current struggle for the H1 B cap can be called a rat race by all accounts. It is an extremely difficult balancing act and I understand the plight of any government trying to win through the process. There is no win - win situation. Whatever happens, there are going to be people extremely disappointed.
One side, we have the Americans: It is their country. They are sinking into a recession. If the H1B cap is increased: It is going to decrease jobs for Americans. But are Americans really into High tech careers? America has had a history supported by immigration. There are no fields dominated by indigenous Americans. They are all dominated by Asian and European workers with a few American managers: Except for the defense sector.
If the H1B caps are not to be increased: US trained workers go back home: Meaning more jobs are again going to be outsourced to China and India.
Americans wake up: The world cannot be conquered by working 8:00 to 5:00. If there are people willing to work 8:00 AM to 8:00 PM: Employers are going to hire them. Cos corporations do what is good for them. With free markets and global trading, the inevitable shall happen: Jobs will go abroad and still leave the job market for Americans pretty thin.
Looking from the case of the foreign students educated in US: they pay a lot of money: Much more than a resident here with the hopes of training and working in a US oriented job market which will pay them returns for the work that they did. You have to accept that they worked 8:00 AM to 2:00 AM then to become what they are now. I would say Asian students do put in more amount of work than an American student would ever: And American professors do know that. So when you did not complain about it then, whining about it now is not going to help at all.
It is like the tax payer. When you pay 35% of your hard earned money to the government, you expect reforms; You want good colleges, more jobs, better standard of living and a strong economy. When the foreign students pay, 200% of the education costs along with tax, food and living: Is it unfair on their part to expect a good job and a strong contribution towards the country’s economy? America’s economy?
This situation is getting out of hand each year. America does not restrict people coming into the country to study. The Universities do like the idea of getting cheap labor and also higher education incomes: More than twice that a resident needs to pay. But when it comes to having in the country, working for America, higher salaries, better living: America balks out.
Either way for America, the solution is tough. Jobs are going to go abroad, richen economies that no longer are dependent on them while reducing number of jobs in America: Microsoft opened a Vancouver office in Canada recently to get around the visa cap. It may not long before it moves to India permanently.
If the H1-B cap is increased, it means American students finally have to wake up and work for their positions which they think is legally theirs but in truth it is not.
Thinking India or China as body shops and other degrading terms will not work out in the future. It is diversify or die. Restraining job markets to Americans will suffocate American economy which is in no position to supply its growing job demands and high tech skills.
In a nutshell, it would be a good legal move for America to open the H1B cap, if not the entirety, at least the US advanced degree holders to prevent US trained talent leaving the country. It would also be a balancing act to put restraint on incoming students, cut down the number of illegal visas, and false consultancies. More work on those lines will actually reduce the true H1B applicants in gigantic proportions.
In any event, I foresee a strong propensity for other economies like India/China becoming global strongholds for high tech industries with Europe and America falling prey to their own immigration rules after building on them so much.
You cannot have the cake and eat it too. Not for that long.
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