A shot in the bright light

I do not remember when I had my first photograph taken but current records indicate that the first time the lens cracked was when I was around 3. Actually I do not have any embarrasing photos. Many of my friends have photos that are taken at awkward
moments and in dresses that the Emperor wore. But me. No. I was always a well behaved, well dressed kid. My mom atleast took care of all of that.

No finger in nose, no Gandhi ki jai kind of dresses. Always inquisitive : Finger into jam bottle, licking it clean, discovering jam is yummy but you always have to steal it!!! Asking politely for the TV to be switched on. "Mommy, can I watch TV?".

Wondering why I ever ever had to have a stupid elder bro who always seem to take care of things for me : Exactly against me!!! Tucked into amma's arms, cheeks pressed against the Ponds cheek of mommy. Looking at wonder in the first rain that caught my memory. Enjoying that cool breeze against my baby cheeks. In appa's arms, trying to put on the first switch in my life(later had to get the switch fixed at a higggghhher level for it to function beyond 3 days!!!)

In pattu pavadais :all the time!! Amma..Don't you have any fashion sense?? ?Frocks, skirts??? nothing..Only pavadais. But I loved each and every one of them . It used to be a standing joke. Best thing to get full worth of anything was to buy me a Pavadai. I would wear it till every thread wore down!! I still have my favorite pavadai tucked inside my wardrobe in America. Gifted by my uncle, it is one of my much cherished relic of a time long gone.

I always hated sharing frame space with my brother. Anything. After a point he really grew up to be a dear sweetie. But till one stage, we were our mom's biggest concern. Will we kill each other? :)) I think she worries even now. Any how.

I grew out of photos around the time I left GA. I don't know. Everything in my life is in part centred around my life in GA. It was my everything I guess. Walking down the lane again, my favorite teachers, my favorite friends, my happiest memories, me in sports, me in studies, everything was on a superlative in GA. I need to go back this time I go to India.

I just stopped posing for pictures. My first class room in AV was a dark room. In all senses of the word. 6 B I guess. I don't even want to remember. Mosquitoes, stupid, mindless girls, partial teachers who were partial to kids who came from the Branch school and disliked the kutties from GA, biased, opiniated, gurus of dissension. I hated AV even after the first few classes I attended.

I grew dark with the shortening of days. I really don't know how!! Became pudgy? Nope. Fat. Bousy as I liked to call it. My face lost its lustre and the lens could no longer stand me. :) I lost my milk teeth and grew really horrible ones that I was
afraid to smile.

So there ended my tryst with the shutter. Apart from secret dreams that one day the tinseldom would rediscover this beautiful yester year kid star, I never really had any illusions.

When my brother bought me a camera, I focussed all my attentions on Parthasarathi. I have wonderful photos of him. To be cameraically correct, they are horrible. Out of center, not focussed..But everyone of them was/is precious in my eyes. Today when we were photographing an engine for a proc-doc, I was wondering, "Enna ithu Perumal aadi vara mathri theriya matengarthe? What happened to the Lord?" for a split second before I realized it was an engine that we were capturing.

That's what that took me down on this path of shots and shouts. Do not assume I am a narcissist. I am really the lake.