Thursday, August 09, 2007

To be a woman.

Another sterling example would be my own friend Chitra akka. I call her friend becos she has grown to be a part of the family itself. She does chores at my house. 100% faithful, 100% honest and 200% a bundle of fun. She was my constant companion these four months. I was repeatedly reduced to tears by her laughs. Oxymoron. She has this husband who is a drunkard. A big loser. That's what he is. She has two daughters. ("ketta kedu pothathu nu than rendum ponna poranthucho nu nenachen!") This guy earns like 3000 Rs. He loses it to gambling, drinking, and gives it freely to his friends. No thought about the women at home. Thank goodness he has no thoughts about the women not at home at least!!!

Singlehandedly, she has brought up the kids. One of them is doing a B.Com at SIET and the other is planning to go on for teacher training. I was extremely happy. Both of them I hope, are going to get married to decent guys, never look back and be happy.

If sitting in my house, I see 5 stories, I mention only five. I can say 50. My mom and patti are the two human beings who guide my light home. If you hear their personal saga, nothing in your life can ever ever beat or daunt you.

There are stories like this happening in each of the households of my street. Some savory, some utterly the opposite. Some to be proud of. Some to deplore. In all these, women tend to be the underdog, the defender, the one taken for granted.

If you even think of it from a midway. Not a guy. Not a girl. As a human. You can see the injustice in our society. It is too obvious. Still that is not the issue here.

There is a story of this husband who goes to live with the lady in the next street! I was like, "what?!!!!!!!" Imagine the plight of this poor girl. Not even knowing she might need a divorce, not having a source of income, a small baby. Meeting the only guy she has been intimate with, one who knows all her secrets, yet of whom she had never dreamed a wrong everyday in the streets? Until she is forced to move away to accept her situation. And then to battle on.

"Indiran kettathum pennala. Chandiran kettathum pennale..". Dey!!. When I hear these stupid statements. This guys sneaks behind a muni's house leaving Indrani behind and you blame the girl? You get married to 27 beautiful girls and you favor only one of them leaving the rest to pine? Buddy, you always had it coming.

So why is the woman expected to be the epitome of the society? The moral upholder? The torch bearer of all things righteous? She has to be working, laundering, cooking taking care of the man's needs, child's needs and apart from all these things, virtuous, kind, gentle, caring, not to say Beautiful and virgin!!!! Man. Isnt all these too much? And when you get one like that,(most of the girls in India are this way), you take her for granted?

Has ever a man been ostracized for smoking a cigarette? Oru ponnu pudicha pothume samy!! kannu virinchu, vai agandu, naaku pezhari, kathulernthu poga vanthu thudichu poiduvanga.!! Hypocrites. Not that I support women smoking. Not good for a lot of reasons. But who has the right?

Hmm.. pondering on.

10 comments:

Survival Theory said...

Mechanical engineeringa adupula thooki podunga. Write a book. JK Rowling mari periya aalu varuvinga. Idea kaga enaku oru 5% commission.
Seriously... you are very talented. Very spontaneous. Dramatic and humorous at the same time. I am supposed to be writing my thesis. You wasted my whole day yesterday.
Vidhya

Vanjula said...

@vidhyasagar,
:) romba overa theriliya sar ethu ungalukke? :) thanks a lot. intha mathri oru compliment enaku vanthathe illa. :)kadaiseela waste nu solteengale? :)) kidding

athan santhegamave eruku.. irunthalum paravala.overa ethi vittu kavuthudatheenga..
hamsa

Survival Theory said...

Ore confusion... Hamsa, Vanjula, gayathri.... ellarume same thana?

Your writing is very vivid... I can see your paati, smell the coffee, hear the bus conductor. I felt like I knew all the characters. Plus your stories hit home hard. And you are very funny, I dont think it is always intended.
I was smilimg the whole day yesterday....

I too think a lot.... about life, god, love, death, making my head hurt... go crazy.... When I read your blog, some strange way I felt redeemed. Also I felt happy that someone was out there, more messed up than me.... :)

Survival Theory said...

And I mean messed up in a good way... the way lord buddha was messed up before he went away from the palace to the forest... :)
Sorry.
I will be quiet now...

Unknown said...

@vidhyasagar,
hamsa, gayathri, vanjula..ellam essentially same morphologically. Spiritually all three are at three different planes. :))

thanks. kandippa nannum oru naal oru katta thedi than poven nu nenaikaren. eppongarthu than question.

:)))

Unknown said...

I have got one one comment for this

"So why is the woman expected to be the epitome of the society? The moral upholder? The torch bearer of all things righteous? She has to be working, laundering, cooking taking care of the man's needs, child's needs and apart from all these things, virtuous, kind, gentle, caring, not to say Beautiful and virgin!!!!"

Because...THATS THE WAY IT IS SUPPOSE TO BE...

Unknown said...

@vick,
supposed to be? whats that supposed to mean? :)) buddy..expecting too much. :))

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